“I always mean what I say but I don’t always say what I mean.”

“Your last word is another man’s target.”

“Your village called… they want their idiot back.”

“He(/She) is not bad, but You are great!”

“You know what they say, whitewater in the morning.”

“You have more luck than brains.”

“You get what you pay for, and you pay for what you get.”

“You can’t predict the future, but you can prepare for it.”

“You cannot use your friends and have them too.”

“You cannot mistake happenings as inconveniences always, you have to sit and think about how you can benefit from it.”

“You can eat your cake and have it too.”

“You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.”

“You can go off people you know.”

“You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your enemies.”

“Xenophobia is alien to me.”

“Who’s been stealing my icecreams.”

“Where there’s smoke there’s fire.”

“Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools speak because they have to say something.”

“Without education, we are in horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.”

“Wikipedia has changed the way the world gets information forever.”

“Why buy it when you can build it for twice as much.”

“Why bother making cookies if your just going to shit them out?”

“Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad—but they don’t bother about the working classes.”

“Whom gods destroy they first make mad.”

“Who ever said nothings impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.”

“Where patience fails, force prevails.”

“When your father says “Do I look stupid?”, don’t answer.”

“When the going gets tough, America goes to the bar.”

“What’s the officer problem?”

“Whatever you do, do cautiously, and look to the end.”

“Whatever happens for a reason, happens.”

“We are not meant to be good, we are just meant to exist.”

“We fucked that midget, Sam. Fucked’em all nite long, and not just traditional.”

“Wars are where old men talk and young men die.”

“War is not the answer.”

“Underpromise and overdeliver.”

“The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive”

“To forget is disgraceful, to forgive is true strength.”

“The difference between successful and unsuccessful man is not the lack of strength or knowledge, it’s the lack of WILL POWER.”

“The best and worst thing about Time is that it passes by.”

“Turnabout is fair play.”

“The Law of Gravity states that what comes up, must come down. That’s why I don’t invest in the Stock Market.”

“They condemn what they do not understand.”

“True power comes from knowledge. Knowledge comes from understanding.”

“Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.”

“To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.”

“To ignore the past is to jeopardize the future.”

“Times change, and we change with them.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“Time flies like the wind, but fruit flies like bananas.”

“Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order.”

“Those who say that violence is the answer never understood the question.”

“Those who fight and run away, live to fight another day.”

“Think of the Web as a big bathroom wall. And everyone has a marker.”

“They would have failed if they were on Expert.”

“There is nothing that you can’t do, only things that you want to or not.”

“There is no I in team, but there is in win, and there’s a u in suck.”

“There is always one more idiot than you counted on.”

“There is a fine line between coincidence and fate.”

“There are two types of people in the world; the people who control it, and the people that should.”

“There are two types of people in the world: Chuck Norris and people that suck.”

“There are three types of people in this world: the ones who keep you alive, the ones who would otherwise cause you to die, and the ones who somehow manage to do both at the same time.”

“There are only 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don’t.”

“The WAY I walk is the WAY.”

“The world is big again.”

“The thing our parents’ generation doesn’t get, is that if you kick ass on the internet, people will find you.”

“The thinner the book, the thicker the person.”

“The sincerest love is satirized by the sincerest liars.”

“The proof of the pudding is in the eating.”

“The plural of anecdote is not data.”

“The only perfect lie is one that even the liar don’t know the answer to.”

“The only thing in life achieved without effort is failure.”

“The only lesson history has taught us is that man has not yet learned anything from history.”

“The only tme the music is too loud is when your ears start bleeding.”

“The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle.”

“The line between what is right and what is wrong is thin and indistinct. It takes true character to discern between the two.”

“The greatest trick a writer ever played upon his readers was to convince them that he was telling the truth when he wrote, “Honestly, I tell you no lies!””

“The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.”

“The hardest thing to raise in my garden is my knees.”

“The first victim of anger is the angry man.”

“The family that prays together stays together.”

“The Eclectic Rede: Keep What Works, Fix What’s Broke, Dump the Rest.”

“The devil’s greatest trick was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.”

“The devil makes work for idle hands.”

“The death of three civilians and a dog causes uproar and sadness. The death of 20,000 soldiers causes dissatisfaction.”

“The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.”

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.”

“The best friends you will ever have are the ones who are there when everything is not perfect.”

“The beatings will continue until morale improves.”

“The apotheosis of nihilism is suicide.”

“Tall trees catch more wind.”

“Writing about art is like dancing about architecture.”

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”

“Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.”

“Take a lesson from the whale; the only time he gets speared is when he raises to spout.”

“Support your right to arm bears.”

“Stupidity is permanent; ignorance can be fixed.”

“Stupid people shouldn’t breed.”

“Sometimes, it just takes a pirate to get the job done.”

“Some people are born lucky, some make their own luck.”

“Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?”

“Successful leaders have the courage to take action where others hesitate.”

“Simple programming languages are bad because they are easy.”

“Shop ’til you drop!”

“Santa happens.”

“Shift happens.”

“Self do, self have.”

“Seeing is believing.”

“See ya later, alligator! After a while, crocodile!”

“Some say knowledge is the best virtue, I say stupidity is”

“Say something stupid and your name will be remembered for forever and a day.”

“Say what you mean, mean what you say.”

“Satisfaction is the death of desire.”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

“Remember the Alamo!”

“Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.”

“Reality is a poor substitute for my dreams.”

“Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write it should be hard to understand.”

“For him that stealeth, or borroweth and returneth not, this book from its owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with palsy, and all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain, crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no surcease to this agony till he sing in dissolution. Let bookworms gnaw his entrails…and when at last he goeth to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him forever.”

“Question it if it’s free.”

“Quick action in emergencies saves lives, push up to the front of the line.”

“Proper planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance.”

“Promotion is one’s growth at the cost of another.”

“Preference is vanity.”

“Praise undeserved is scandal in disguise.”

“Practice may make perfect, but perfection does not mean you don’t need to practice.”

“Practice makes better!”

“Practice makes perfect, and nothing’s perfect, so why practice?”

“Power is the way to fulfill absolute corruption and greed.”

“Physical prowess is for cowards; a little pain builds character.”

“Pink pills for pale people.”

“Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness.”

“Pessimists are Optimists with experience.”

“Pessimist’s definition of an Optimist: Someone who knows today is so bad, tomorrow has just got to be better.”

“People who run aren’t cowards, just smarter than those who charge.”

“People say I shouldn’t frown because it uses more muscles than smiling. Then I point out that Americans need their exercise.”

“People only think I’m wrong because my path of logic is illogical to every logical person.”

“Patience is a very tedious virtue.”

“Pain is temporary. Chicks dig scars. Glory is forever.”

“Pleasure is weakness entering the body.”

“Optimist is the one who thinks bullshit is a fertilizer.”

“Open minds and empty heads are not the same.”

“One smart man is dumber than 7 seven stupid ones.”

“One cannot write feelings when not in despair.”

“One good turn deserves another.”

“Obstacles are weights that when time flows, you’ll get used to”

“Nothing is fool proof.”

“Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.”

“Nothing is impossible.”

“Nobody’s perfect. I’m Nobody. Therefore, I must be perfect.”

“No quarter given, and none received.”

“No man is an island in Manhattan.”

“No brain, more pain.”

“Never put off doing till tomorrow what you can put off doing today.”

“Never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Never forget that your tools were made by the lowest bidder.”

“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.”

“Money is worthless unless some people have it and others do not.”

“My mechanics so good, if he cant fix it, it ain’t broken.”

“My body may be broken, but my spirit still fights on.”

“Most citizens are in two minds about traffic wardens: whether they should be taken out and shot at dawn, or at dusk.”

“Mocking religion is like mocking handicapped people, even though it’s easy, you just don’t do it.”

“Man up inside ya!”

“Man must shut up, or be shut up.”

“Many hands make light work.”

“Lie, lonely, lose.”

“Life is about everything, but without love it’s nothing.”

“Love of money is the root of all evil.”

“Love is the only rational act.”

“Love is all you need to love, and love is all you need to be loved.”

“Love makes time pass. Time makes love pass.”

“Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.”

“Live life like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Life is a sexually contracted terminal disease.”

“Life is unsure. Always eat your dessert first.”

“Life is a terminal disease.”

“Life is the best thing in the world, those who disprove are fools”

“Life sucks, then you die.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“Life is a bitch.”

“Life. Live it.”

“Let his own wand ding him.”

“Laws are made to be broken.”

“Keep Mum, she’s not so dumb.”

“Just because you’ve always done it that way; doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly stupid.”

“If two people meet and exchange one dollar, both leave with that same one dollar. If two people meet and exchange an idea, both leave with two ideas.”

“If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions.”

“It’s only funny until someone gets hurt… Then it’s hilarious.”

“It’s not cheating, it’s creative sportsmanship.”

“It’s been a long week today.”

“It is not ignorance that is the problem, but the illusion of knowledge.”

“It doesn’t matter what actually happened, the only thing that matters is what people think happened.”

“Is your journey really necessary?”

“In one ear, out the other.”

“In every river, the worse the ford the better the fish.”

“I’m pink, therefore, I’m spam!”

“I intend to live forever – so far, so good!”

“If it looks like there’s nothing to worry about, that’s when you really have to worry.”

“If you’re dumb dont talk so you can at least seem smart. Till you forget and say something stupid.”

“If you go looking for enemies then you will find them — the fucking bastards!”

“If your enemy needs a friend, buy him a dog.”

“If you can’t convince, confuse!”

“If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”

“If I’m going down I’m taking somebody with me.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, others do so at your expense.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

“If intelligence had anything to do with the voting process, then all the smart people would vote the same.”

“If I had liked you in the first place, I’d have gone off you by now.”

“I like to be at the base/bottom of a pyramid. So i can say to the one at the top that I will leave if I want…”

“I’m not trying to be cheeky, because if I was you’d know about it.”

“I would insult you, but you’re not bright enough.”

“I was born intelligent. But, education ruined me.”

“It’s only money, we’ve got plenty of it.”

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”

“I may look stupid but dont let it it foool you i is smmart. by.”

“I have the body of a god. Specifically, Buddha.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!”

“I don’t have an attitude problem: you have a perception problem!”

“I don’t fear death; it’s re-incarnation I dread.”

“I am nothing, not even hope.”

“I always mean what I say but I don’t always say what I mean.”

“Hold my beer and watch this!”

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”

“Home is where your hump is.”

“Home is where the heart is.”

“Homophobia is gay.”

“History is like your social Security number. long, useless, but needed.”

“History is just one bloody thing after another.”

“Here goes nothing.”

“He’s as sharp as a beach ball.”

“He who listens is he who truly speaks.”

“He who laughs last laughs longest.”

“He that fights and runs away, May live to fight another day.”

“Have you seen my hexokinase?”

“Half the work done in the world is there to deceive you.”

“God save the Queen! God knows Why!”

“Guitars are like speeches, they must be in tune.”

“Great minds think alike.”

“Grass is greener on the other side.”

“Greatest gift one man can give another; the awesome responsibility of freedom.”

“Good things come to those who wait.”

“Go big or don’t go at all.”

“Go big or go home.”

“Getting lost is not a bad thing its just not that good either.”

“Friends are like a four leaf clover,hard to find but good to have.”

“Freedom isn’t free.”

“Friends come and go, but enemies are here forever.”

“Friendship is like peeing in your pants: Everyone can see it but only you can feel its warmth.”

“Friends come and go, but a good enemy lasts forever.”

“Form is temporary. Class is permanent.”

“For the common man can do nothing: The fact he undertakes the task makes him uncommon.”

“Five out of four people have problems with fractions.”

“Fire it up, light it up, smoke it up.”

“Fate is only for those unable to control their own futures.”

“Faith is antonymous with logic.”

“Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward.”

“Eat right. Exercise regularly. Die anyway.”

“Every dog has his day.”

“Even “impossible” says I’m possible!”

“We’re all a lot better for butter.”

“Eschew Obfuscation! Espouse Elucidation!”

“Don’t aim for success. If you want it, just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally!”

“Don’t lick Bell End.”

“Don’t piss in your own pool.”

“Dead fish go with the flow… but I’m not dead yet.”

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

“Don’t feed the monkeys! They like soul-food best!”

“Don’t let the chains of the world keep you down. Cast them off, and be free to fly.”

“Death is the final journey.”

“Concern should drive us into action and not into depression.”

“Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“But what about my obstacles? Feint left, run right. Charge like a hipopotamus. Blast with lasers. Drag along. Pretend not there. Surmount.”

“Bullfight critics row on row, Crowd the vast arena full, But only one man’s there who knows, And he’s the man who fights the bull.”

“Build something that’s foolproof, and only a fool will use it.”

“Beware beginings.”

“Better a smartass than a dumbass.”

“Begin with the end in mind.”

“Beauty fades away.”

“Be on the world, not of it…As a waterdrop on a lotusleaf…”

“Anything good or bad lies in your eyes.”

“Attitude: the difference between squashing and being squashed.”

“Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.”

“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”

“Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”

“Another day another dollar.”

“And all the people say?”

“An apple, an egg, and a nut, you may eat after a slut.”

“All the world is mad, except thee and me, and even thee’s a little mad at times.”

“All or nothing, now.”

“A proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts.”

“A guitarist is only as good as his drummer and bassist”

“Act quickly… but not too quickly.”

“A camel is a horse designed by committee.”